Reprimands of George
by GeorgeSquishy
Summary: A copy of the list of activities George is forbidden to do within the Labyrinth, posted officially by royal decree.


So I got bored and wrote most of these at work. We've all at some point run the labyrinth, I never left. :P

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Things George is no longer allowed to do in the Labyrinth

1. ALL inhabitants are subjects of the King and thus subject to the King's law

2. "I care because?" is not acceptable response to the King's command

3. Not allowed to unionize Goblins

4. Not allowed to represent Goblins applying for pain and suffer when King kicks them

5. Not allowed to apply pain and suffer leave for making faces at King and having them frozen by King as punishment

6. Will not encourage Goblins to get faces frozen as well for funny/scary face contest and then ask King to judge

7. Anyone uttering the words "You no take candle!" will result in Bog cleaning duty

8. Will remember goblins are more flammable then most other creature

9. Never allowed to use laundry detergent to clean The Bog of Eternal stench

10. Throwing Goblins into the Bog to avoid bath time is a bad idea

11. Llama's are not the harbingers of the apocalypse and can not assemble a goblin task for to "hunt them down"

12. Not allowed to save hunted Llamas from own task force by hiding them in the labyrinth

13. Llamas are forbidden from EVER entering the castle

14. If can not fit in worm's home will politely decline invitation and move on

15. Will not replace worm's destroyed home with Barbie Dream house even if the Jacuzzi comes with real working jets

16. The castle does not need machine gun turrets or harpoons

17. May not send notes to the Royal Tailor to add bulging codpieces to all pant in the royal wardrobe even if they sparkle

18. The foulness of the King's mood has nothing to do with the tightness of his majesty's pants

19. There is no goblin mating season

20. The king will never organize a goblin matchmaking service

21. Will not demand Sex Ed classes for the Goblins

22. Will not teach Sex Ed classes to the Goblins

23. No longer allowed to send love notes from the King to Miss Sarah Williams, especially ones signed your fuffy wuffy owl

24. 24. Mice killed by the King when he is in owl form are not entitled to state funerals, a cross of realm, and their own memorial day all in service to the king

25. Do not have the powers to knight goblins

26. Will take responsibility for teach the goblins any song, which will be repeated loudly and drunkenly for the next 3 weeks

27. Am no longer allowed near the king bedroom without permission and a escort

28. Escort must be over 3 feet tall

29. The Fireys standing on one another whole or dissembled do not count

30. Am not allowed to start any religion

31. Am not the high priestess of the spoon

32. Spoons shall not be liberated around breakfast time or when the King is craving pudding

33. The King can not be bribed with special favors unless special favor includes a full day of silence from all castle inhabitants excluding the king

34. Will not photo shop pictures of Sarah Williams to bribe the King

35. The labyrinth will never host rock concerts nor should any one establish on

36. Am not allowed to play fetch with Ludo on castle ground

37. Dog biscuits are not suitable treats for the Goblins

38. Listerine and hand soap in a spray bottle is not "Goblin Repellent"

39. Am not allowed to sell "Goblin Repellent" to Labyrinth runners

40. Am not allowed to sell maps of the labyrinth to the runners even if its only a solved maze from the back of a children's menu

41. Am not allowed to hold Labyrinth runners for ransom

42. The King does not know what Skyclad is nor does he wish to see a demonstration

43. Am no longer allowed unsupervised visits with the King's mother

44. The fairy's outside the gate are the groundskeepers responsibility to dispose of and not to be hung around the castle as substitute Christmas lights

45. Manicures for the Helping Hands are not part of their benefits package

46. Am not allowed to hold any contest with the prize resulting in "Date night with the King"

47. Can not sell self at the goblin market without the King's permission

48. The King will only pay the trolls a return fee once!

49. Am not the kingdom mascot and do not get a halftime show or own song and dance number

50. The King does not need cue cards when giving runner ultimatums.


End file.
